My Journey to Obedience

          August 2003, our oldest daughter begins to feel God’s calling to the mission field. One Sunday morning at church God told her to quit her job.  

“Whaaaat????” she said. God said it again.

“I have an apartment and a new car I need to pay for.”

           Then, she went to work and gave her boss the news. Following the discussion she went back to her office.  Total chaos filled the office, but as she sat in her office she was so at peace, a burden lifted off her shoulders. Yet, as she gazed up, in the midst of her thoughts, chaos still reigned in the office.   

          Her interest was Russia…she had been there during her college years with the Theater Department at Texas Christian University. Being reasonably familiar with her travels there, I was not overly concerned with her safety and well-being.  

“It was a safe place,” I thought. 

           Then, July 2004 she heads to the Missionary Learning Center in Virginia and that is where God showed her, once again, He is in charge. He will be with her wherever she goes. She arrived. Each day consisted of meetings, training, etc. Then one day, she looked on the board. The Russia assignment had been cancelled. She called me crying.

“I thought this was where God wanted me to go.”   

          I shared with her when God closes a door, he’ll open another one. I told her to spend the evening on her knees and in His word. God would show her where He was calling her to go. So the next day she called. 

“I’m going to India,” she said. 

My heart sank. I was so thankful she could not see my face.

At that moment I said to God, “we’ve got to talk. Really Lord, India? It’s really far away and NOT SAFE.”

          Her mission would be in Northern India, a place where there is so much unrest.  It would be an area of heavy Muslim influence, more primitive in its surroundings, and a region in dispute between India and Pakistan. She would have no personal knowledge or familiarity with her city of residence. 

As I was talking with the Lord, I asked, “Are you sure you want her to go there?”

          God certainly had another plan for her, one that would grow her and this mother and father in another area of obedience like never before. I realized how quickly the time would come to send our daughter away to the other side of the world, a place where she would be inaccessible to us. 

          And this is where my step of obedience began…I have always believed my children belonged to God. They are His, and He will take care of them.  But the reality hit home big time when she got this assignment. I realized that my words and feelings were going to require real actions and a real surrender. All of our children had been at a close distance, within driving distance, so this was going to be really different and quite honestly, I wasn’t comfortable with it.  Our whole family struggled with it. 
          We were sending our daughter of 24 years, yes I know she was an adult, but she was still my little girl. So I’m sending her off with someone we don’t know, on a plane to the other side of the world…ALONE!!   

          God taught me so many things in those two years about obedience. That if I would just trust Him and believe, He would take care of the rest. And ladies, that’s exactly what I did. The entire two years I stayed on my knees, and He showed me how Sovereign He is, how He keeps His promises, how He gives us strength when we think we can’t handle anymore, and that our purpose here on earth is to bring glory to His name. He kept her safe from so many things…things that could only be explained by God. His grace is sufficient. Our God is amazing!!!!!!!! 

          I prayed this daily…

Psalm 121: 7: The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life.

 Pat Riddle is a long time member of First Baptist Church Irving. She is wife to Phil Riddle and is the mother to 3 children and grandmother to 7 grandchildren. Pat served as the Food Services Director for many years. She is known for her giving and compassionate heart, her amazing skill in the kitchen, and as a woman, who serves her Lord.

Flourish: The Gradual Growth Process

by Rebecca Ashbrook Carrell

The LORD passed in front of Moses, calling out, "Yahweh! The LORD! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

—Exodus 34:6 NLT

          April 16^th, 2015, marks a birthday for my daughter and an anniversary for me. Caitlyn will be nine-years-old. I will have been a mother for exactly nine years and nine months.

          As I have watched both of my children grow through the years, a thought has played on repeat in my mind: I had no idea how much power I had over my mother and father.

          It’s true. My children hold the power of my very well-being in their small hands; my heart is stretched out and woven through their little fingers. A goofy grin or tear-stained face can change my mood in an instant.

          Some of the brightest mountain-top moments over the past nine years are framed as a “first:” first word, first crawl or the first day of school.

          Recently I thought about Caitlyn’s first steps.

          We were at a family gathering, celebrating the April and May birthdays. That’s when my daughter—who’s never met an audience she didn’t love—chose to make her walking debut.

          The family was sitting in a circle around the living room and Caitlyn had all eyes on her. So far she had done nothing more than stand-and-release. Pull herself up with a walker, let go, wobble a bit, and grab back on to the toy.

          Suddenly, she got brave.

          With her Daddy on the other side of the room, she looked his direction and broke into a heart-melting grin. “Come on, Caitlyn! Come to Daddy,” my husband coaxed.

          “Da!” she exclaimed, and off she went. She toddled three, four, five steps in a row and promptly fell back on her ruffled behind.

          Cheers and shouts erupted from the group, and her “Da,” no longer able to stand still, rushed to his daughter, scooped her in his arms and tossed her into the air.

          “That’s my girl!” Mike laughed, “That’s my girl! Daddy is so proud!”

          Research definitively shows that when children are raised in a loving, supportive environment, when their needs are met and they feel secure, they thrive.

          So it is with your Heavenly Father.

          Can you image what my daughter and son would be like if, instead of cheering on their efforts, we berated their lack of success?

          What parent gets angry at a child as they are learning to walk and run?

          Recently my son, Nick, learned how to ride his bike without training wheels. It was a bumpy process, and not without both blood and bruises. He would try, fall down, and cry. Mike or I would run to his side, kiss the boo-boo, speak words of encouragement, and the cycle would repeat itself.

Never at any time did we get frustrated. Not once did we make him feel incapable.

          Instead, with time, effort and tenderness, we prodded him along until finally, he did it on his own.

          Now he rides that bike like he’s been doing it all his life.

          Friend, do you know that when you mess up, your Father is not the scary dad at the soccer game? He is not the angry parent, cracking the whip, demanding that you get it right.

          Your Heavenly Father is the One who meets you in your mess, whispers words of grace, and prods you to persevere. “Try again,” He urges, “and again, and again, and again!”

          If you have walked with the Lord for some time you may know the difference between salvation and sanctification. Salvation happens in an instant; the very moment you come to a saving faith in Jesus Christ—a faith that understands your sin nature and desperate need for a savior—that is the moment you are ushered into the Kingdom.

          You are adopted. You are sealed. You are never getting out.

          That is salvation.

          Salvation is instantaneous.

          Sanctification is the process of becoming more like Christ.

          Sanctification is a process.

          Allow me to repeat.

          Sanctification is a process.

          You are not going to wake up one day and have no interest in sin.

          God knows that.

          You are not going to get to a place where you never make mistakes.

          God expects you to make mistakes.

          You will struggle to tell the truth, to stay in the lines, and to speak in love. Some days you’ll stumble into sin and other days you’ll dive right in.

          That’s why you need a Savior.

          I have no misgivings about my children. They will blow it. They will fail. They will mess things up.

          Lucky for them, their behavior has nothing to do with my love for them. I don’t love them because of what they do and don’t do. I don’t love them more when they hit a home run or less when they strike out. They don’t receive any more affection for an “A” than they do an “F,” because their performance has no bearing on my love for them.

          Their “success” and my love are two distinct entities that occupy different galaxies.

          And so it is with your Heavenly Father.

          What does this mean for you? It means that you can relax. You can rest. You can turn off the spiritual treadmill. God is not hovering over you waiting for you to mess up, so He can let you have it.

No.

          God is living in you, going before you and protectively surrounding you so He can lift you up when you fall.

          In Him, you have everything you could ever need to thrive.

          Oceans of mercy. Rivers of compassion. A love that spans eternity.

          Root yourself deep in the soil of His Word. Drink deeply from the Living Water. Feast on the Bread of Life.

          Flourish under the light of His love.

          Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.—Micah 7:18-19 NIV

Rebecca Ashbrook Carrell is a Christ follower, a wife to Mike, mother to Caitlyn and Nick, and a morning show co-host on Christian station 90.9 KCBI in Dallas/Fort Worth. Rebecca started her radio career in country music in 1998. In 2009, after a long bout with depression and anxiety, Rebecca redirected her life and answered God’s call to ministry. One day, while asking God what He wanted her to do with her life, He gave her three words: Love, Serve, Shine! The words quickly became her life’s mission: to love others the way Christ loves us, to serve others as Christ did when He washed the disciples’ feet, and to shine His light for the world to see. She founded LSS (Love, Serve, Shine!) Ministries, and speaks and teaches at churches and conferences region-wide. Today, her passion is to see women fall in love with Jesus and step into the abundant life He promises. Find out more about LSS Ministries at LoveServeShine.com.

LIVING LOVED

by Punky Tolson

Sweet sisters of First Baptist Church Irving… I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO MEET YOU ALL!!!  I just had to shout-type that greeting because lowercase words don’t always get the point across as effectively and passionately, and I so want you to know that I am really, REALLY looking forward to our time together in April! I am in great anticipation and expectation of what the Lord is going to deliver to us that weekend and I hope for nothing less than His sweet presence to overwhelm us. In the meantime, please know that I am praying for each one of you, and today I hope to encourage you in the Lord to set your mind to intentionally pursue Jesus today and every day.  Not in some crazy legalistic way, but in the way of love… in order that you might know Him better and live more fully in His love. 

Before you scratch you head bald, let me explain. 

It’s one thing to know that God loves you (head knowledge).  It’s another thing to believe it (heart knowledge).  But it is quite a different thing altogether to live loved- to live with the knowledge, belief, and the continual life experience of God’s love on a daily basis; to live right in the center of His love (Jude 20-21a).  At any given moment to be able to stop and hold out the finger of faith to test the winds of the Spirit and confidently say, “Yes… I’m living loved right now because I… _________________________ (you fill in the blank).

I’m not talking about a goosebumps/hair-raising experience.  

I’m talking about living… the kind of daily living in love that turns the ordinary into the extraordinary because we’re engaging with God relationally…

in His Word and through the everyday experiences of our life.

For years I lived with certain head knowledge of God’s love; I taught Bible studies for women for 15 years, I had a hunger and thirst for God and His Word, but my life experience of living loved was inconsistent. I knew there was more, and I desperately wanted it. 

In early 2014 I began my intentional spiritual quest to the place I call “living loved”. It’s not a place I’ve not returned from, nor do I intend to.  It’s where I now live.  It’s where God wants you and me to live continually… to abide…to remain.  Living loved is the place where we come to know more and more of this awesome God of ours, to know Him as our Abba, our friend; to trust His character; to believe Him; and to fall in love with Him over and over again.  Living loved the place where we become our true selves- the real women of God that He has created us to be…women who are fully functioning, thriving, and flourishing in that particular place where we have the most profound purpose, influence and the greatest impact for Christ on this planet. 

Living loved does not happen by accident.  If you ever dare to go there, it will be because you’ve determined to get there.  The journey there for me was profoundly quick, and profoundly life changing.  

It began with the conscious decision to intentionally love God through His Word, and out of that love to obey Him… in the big things and the not-so-big things. 

Let these sweet words of Jesus settle into your mind and heart: “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.  He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”    (John 14:21, NIV84)

God knows those who love Him, and the litmus test is obedience. 

The more we know of God, the more we will grow to love Him; the more we love Him, the more we will desire to obey Him; the more we obey Him, the more we will know and experience His love for us…and the more Jesus will show Himself to us. The blessing that follows the woman who obeys God is the blessing of continually living loved.  That woman sees God everywhere…every day, because God delights to be loved by her, and gladly responds to her love and obedience.

In the beautiful words of Jeremiah the Lord speaks to us saying, “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord...” (Jeremiah 29:11-14a)

We get pretty excited about knowing the prosperous and hope-filled plans He has for our future.  But the emphasis here is not on the future plans, but on knowing the One who knows our future. The phrase “when you seek me with all your heart” means to seek, to search for as a vital necessity for life” (Hebrew/Greek Lexical Aids).  You and I will never come to trust or love whom we do not know. Therefore- make it your prayer to fall in love with Jesus; make it your passionate pursuit to know God; make it the holy ambition of your life to obey Him out of your great love for Him.  

Every new day brings a new beginning, with God’s brand new mercies and grace to help us live the life He’s purposed for us.  The best life.  The loved life.  So, begin again today.  Make this your prayer and surrender yourself to the Lord with arms outstretched, reaching toward Him and everything He has for you:

Lord, I want to love you more than anything and anyone,

and to desire nothing on this earth as much or more than I desire you. 

Give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation to know you better (Eph. 1:17), be the greatest delight of my heart, and help me to live in your love.

To the praise of Your glory, and in the matchless name of Jesus I pray.

If you pray that prayer daily, you. will. be. changed… for the better, changed for good, and ruined for anything less than more of God. 

OK, my sweet friends… I am counting the days until we will meet face-to-face and have a ball together with the Lord in His marvelous Word!

You are greatly and dearly loved by The King!

xo - Punky

PUNKY LEONARD TOLSON

Bible Teach. Speaker. Writer. Author. Disciple-maker.

Lover of Jesus! Crazy about His Word! Passionate about helping women know and love Him.

Wife to John, partner in ministry at John and Punky Tolson Ministries (johnandpunkytolson.com).

Breast cancer survivor. Lover of coffee, chocolate, and all things pumpkin.  Crazy about my Frenchie, Gigi!

Single until age 43, Punky Leonard Tolson pursued love and true satisfaction through many avenues, including a career in the entertainment industry (“Norma” in the movie, ‘Something to Talk About’ with Julia Roberts). But it was through personal trials, wrong choices, and heartbreaks that she finally found the true love of her life in Jesus Christ and grew into a personal, intimate and loving relationship with Him, which ultimately transformed her life. Because of this, Punky’s greatest desire is to help others know Jesus, to love God’s Word, and to daily live out His truth in their lives. In 2009, Punky received the diagnosis of breast cancer. In the year that followed she underwent several surgeries, a double mastectomy, and chemotherapy. Punky holds that season of her life as one of the most precious, and encourages other women facing struggles of any kind to hold steadfast to God and His Word, where they will find a faithful source of encouragement, healing, promise, and profound purpose in the midst of pain. Punky speaks locally and nationally at women’s conferences and events sharing her story of finding freedom and true satisfaction in Christ, marrying later in life, being a breast cancer survivor, living the life you were destined for, and more. She is the founder of Women at the Well, an interdenominational Bible Study in Dallas, Texas, and a contributing writer for God Crazy Freedom. In 2003, Punky and her husband, John, began a new discipleship ministry designed to equip men and women to become and mentor disciples of Jesus Christ. Punky and her husband, Dr. John Tolson, were married in 2001 and are true partners in the Gospel. Their life’s mission is to serve the Lord by making disciples for Jesus Christ (Matthew 28:19–20). They serve the Lord through John and Punky Tolson Ministries, in Dallas, Texas.  Punky has been blessed with a beautiful and godly stepdaughter, Christin, son-in-law, Joe, three precious granddaughters, and a wonderful stepson, Luke.

Yes, Lord!

by Kalie Lowrie

          I carry a small blue card around in my Bible. On the front it simply says, “Yes, Lord!” On the back it reads May 2, 2010. I've had this in my Bible for the past five years to remind of me the day when I knelt at the altar and surrendered my will to the Lord. When I said “Yes” to whatever the Lord was calling me to, whenever He was calling me.

You are probably expecting me to tell you the next thing I did was quit my job, run home, pack my bags and move to the Middle East. Guess what?! That’s not what happened. Actually, there were not any drastic events following that commitment, but rather it was a heart-change. It was when I really began to believe God could use me and would use me, regardless of how equipped or prepared I felt. He was asking me to be willing to be His vessel.

I gave my life to Christ at a very young age. I believe when I prayed my prayer of repentance and invited Jesus into my heart, He washed my sins away and entered into my life. Growing up, I sought to serve Him and love His people. I grew in my relationship with God and had struggles along the way, as everyone does. But, I think I was still holding on to my dreams, my plans, and ultimately my will.

I wasn't giving God all of me, I was giving Him the parts I was comfortable with Him having. At times, I was allowing fear of the unknown, rejection and uncertainty to prevent me from being all God had created for me.

On that Sunday, five years ago, God called me to lay down those dreams, plans and my will. He asked me to be willing to say “Yes” to Him, whatever the cost, whether I felt prepared or not, regardless of the outcome. It was such a humbling time of obedience, but looking back, I can see how God has used that moment of surrender in so many ways in my life.

To walk in obedience with the Father is to trust His plans. 

To “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5).
God has shown me that my desires need to come from Him. 

Psalms 37:4 says to “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” 

That means I need to seek the will of my Father, to lay down my desires, and examine them to see if they are truly from the Lord. If God (not I) placed desires in my heart, He will fulfill them in His time.
As my precious friend Helen Outlaw so beautifully taught us at Worship and the Word last September (I was watching via FaceTime in India and it was just as powerful!), we need to walk in faithful obedience. We need to put on our work shoes and apply all of the knowledge we have gained. We need to go and plant seeds of the Gospel. We need to work for the Lord.
And beyond faithful obedience, we need to produce fruitful obedience. Saying “Yes” to the Lord does not just mean going and doing good works. 

It means going and doing works that bear fruit for His Kingdom. 

I can work and toil and strain to do good deeds all day long, but if they are not truly what God has called me to do, it’s not being obedient, I’m just wearing myself out.
I hope you will join us April 17-18 at Flourish, the First Irving Women’s Spring Retreat. We have invited some wonderful women of faith to come and teach us more about what it looks like to walk in fruitful obedience to the Lord. To be women who seek the face of the Lord and go out and do what He has called us to do. To take the head and heart knowledge God has given us and to apply it daily in our hearts, homes, workplaces, and community.
In my prayer time this week, the Lord reminded me that 

He has equipped me for what He is calling me to do today, and He is preparing me for the work He has in store for me tomorrow. 

God longs to walk alongside us, dear sisters, as we seek to do His will, glorify Him, and share the Gospel with a world that desperately needs to hear. Are you willing to answer that call? Are you ready to say “Yes, Lord!”?

Kalie Lowrie has been a member of First Irving since April 2012. She is active in the Forge young adult ABF, serves on the Women's leadership team and helps with the Connections team in the Welcome Center on Sunday mornings. Kalie works in Communications for Texas Baptists and in her free time she enjoys traveling, spending time with friends and family, playing games and watching Gilmore Girls. 

The Soil that Flourishes

By Alicia Frick

         “Flourish.” I love that word. We have adopted the name for our blog, our upcoming ladies retreat, and even considered naming our ladies ministry by one simple word, “flourish.” I believe this word is so appealing.

It indicates thriving growth with the presence of joy and delight.

          “Flourish” always transports me to spring and hills covered in bluebonnets and Indian paintbrushes. In Psalms 1 we are given a biblical picture of flourishing. The Psalmist writes:
“He [she] is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he [she] does prospers.”
          I know we all would like to be described as this tree, but the truth is usually quite different for me. I often feel overwhelmed, consumed, tired, unresponsive, and unproductive. The list could continue. I won’t bore you with the description, but can you relate?
          Dictionary.com defines flourish as “to grow luxuriantly or to thrive in growth.” Google adds “to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way.” Sounds more like the weeds right now in my front yard than it does my current situation. Interestingly, the Google definition adds “especially as the thought of a particularly congenial (welcoming or hospitable) environment.” This world tells us flourishing is only possible in the right circumstances. To grow or thrive, to develop in a vigorous way, is only possible when our circumstances are favorable or when certain conditions are present.
          Ladies, I believe we often don’t flourish because we substitute the wisdom of this world for the truth of who we are in Christ.

We plant our roots in the soil of our circumstances instead of near the stream of “Living Water.”

We survey the environment of our circumstances and think “I can’t prosper here; it’s too painful. I just want out, or why is this happening to me?”
          Consider this verse in Isaiah “I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground.” Thirsty and dry ground certainly does not describe optimal growing soil, yet Isaiah continues “they will spring up like grass in a meadow like poplar tress by flowing streams” (Isaiah 44:3-4). Isaiah describes thriving, beautiful growth even in the harshness of desert terrain.
          I don’t know what your “desert” may be right now, but Jesus does. The Living Water waits to pour His life, His joy, His peace, His ability that we might flourish “as oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor” (Isaiah 61:3). Jesus’ teaches how to thrive in the face of extreme circumstances with the parable of the Wise and Foolish Builders.
          Perhaps you are familiar with the illustration. Two men built the same house, but on different foundations. Each home then faced the same fierce storm. The wise man’s house withstood the storm. The fool’s was destroyed, and “it fell with a great crash.” The wise man’s foundation was the rock “of hearing these words of Mine and putting them in to practice” (Matthew 7:24). Simply put, the wise man built on the foundation of obedience.
          I don’t mean a list of “to do’s” and not “to do’s.” I mean the same surrender of heart Jesus offers in the garden as He sweats blood and declares

“Yet, not my will but Your will be done” (Matthew 26:39).

          I want to grow my roots in obedience to His will and not blown over because I have so hoped in my own way. Obedience is the rich soil that allows us to flourish no matter our circumstances.
          Recently, I quietly watched a patient, young mom and her active daughter at a local playground. After several warnings she continued to disobey, earning a timeout. After several minutes of watching the other children play, she sweetly looked to her mom and said, “I am ready to obey now.”  I loved her honesty but at the same time conviction washed over me. 

Forgive me Jesus for the many times I have treated obedience as a choice instead of a lifetime pursuit. 

How many times have I missed the opportunity to “flourish on the playground” because I chose to disobey? 
          For me, I am having a transplanting party. I am getting out of the pot of my circumstances and my own desires and replanting my roots deep in the Living Water. I want to flourish at all times, not just when circumstances are favorable. I want to thrive, not just survive. Ladies let’s be found chasing hard after Christ, flourishing for His glory, focusing on Him as the prize.

Alicia Frick 

Alicia and her husband Ricky have been married for 20 fun, adventure-filled years. They are blessed with three children: Kenneth, 28, Lauren, 16, and Carson, 14. Alicia currently teaches the Free to Soar mixed-age Sunday School class and women's bible studies at First Irving. In her free time, she enjoys reading, traveling, watching movies, and playing games with her family.

My Journey to Build a Ministry by Walking in Obedience to God’s Calling

                   By Michelle Stanphill

          My journey toward obedience began at the age of twenty nine when I was saved. I told the Lord I wanted Him at the center of my life, and I promised to obey and serve Him anytime, anywhere, at any cost, to do anything. I asked Him to make me the kind of person He wanted me to be.

          At the time I prayed this I did not know that the promise I made to obey and serve would turn to a change in careers. 

          Life was good and easy – maybe too easy. I had everything I could possibly want: my heavenly Father, my husband, my family, wonderful co-workers and a job, where I was comfortable both financially and with my abilities. But God had plans to take me out of my comfort zone, a place I, on my own, could not imagine.

         This particular year I grew deep in the word under the teaching of some very gifted servants at First Irving.  I began to wrestle and become discontent in my journey. I looked to God for guidance, submitted my day into His care, and asked for clarity of His will for my life. While waiting in silence for God to speak to me, I was approached about a new ministry opportunity. 

          It was then I felt God’s presence come over me. I received a clear divine understanding of what God wanted of me. He impressed it upon my heart. It was time to move out of my comfort zone and move into part-time ministry.

          Panic and fear gripped me.

          How could God expect me to give up my job and the financial provision I had worked many years to achieve? I could never be in ministry. I wasn't educated; I could not speak well in front of large groups.

          I was sure this was just a dream made up in my head. It was easy to justify walking away from this thought and tell myself it couldn't have been God speaking. Those were just my own thoughts intervening during this prayer time. So I ignored the message, yet I went back into prayer and asked God for confirmation. If this was something that He wanted me to do, I needed to know without a doubt. 

God said, “walk this way.”

          As I look back on what transpired, I knew this wasn't something I could have done on my own. My selfish thoughts, fears and worries would have prevented me from going ahead in this transition, this new journey.  It would have been easy to come up with great excuses to quit as I encountered each hurdle throughout the first few years.But I couldn't.

This was something God wanted of me, and I had to be obedient.  Laying down all fears and pride, the Lord began rising up others to come along side and minister to me and with me.

          Internally it was difficult, but I kept my eyes on the Lord and recalled His promise to me: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls- Matthew 11:28.

         Early one morning I remember sitting in my office. It was very quiet. No one was in the office. It was one of those peaceful moments, where I could be alone with God.  I cried out to God, asking Him to reveal Himself to me. I wanted to feel His presence, His peace, His wisdom, His vision. Lovingly, He answered my prayer. He came alive in my heart, and His presence was real.

         God’s words were clear and reassuring enough to release me from my fears. He said, “You are not alone; you are never alone. Who do you think is in control of your life and this ministry? 

I have placed gifted women in My church, now go and build a team of women.”

          Again, I cried out in despair to God. I felt so inadequate so unworthy, sure that he picked the wrong person to direct His Ministry and seek out women to lead.

          I lacked the years of experience and wisdom that others I served with in ministry had. My past certainly didn’t portray a Christ-like picture of someone called into ministry. 

          God brought to my mind the story of Moses, who reluctantly came to Him with these words: “Who am I?” Then following a conversation with God, Moses continued to display his doubts: “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say the Lord did not appear to you?”

          This is exactly how I felt. I can’t teach or speak before large crowds. I am a normal human being with insecurities and doubts, just like others.  But God showed me. 

He picked me because of my inadequacies and my willingness to be used.

          I’m ashamed to admit during this time and at times still I have felt angry at my inability, alone, insecure and unworthy. Satan has tried to have a great hold over me. My husband, Brent, helped me realize these feelings were from the enemy. 

          On my knees, I cried out to God, confessed my sins and my disobedience to Him. Again I felt His indescribable peace – a peace I did not deserve. He is such a forgiving God! 

          He reminded me of His words in Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the broken hearted. He rescues those who are crushed in spirit.” 

I lost sight of the fact that every pain or problem we experience is a character-building opportunity to increase our faith.

          I did not see the transformation God was doing in my life, and I was robbing myself of the joy that Christ had set before me. He knew what it was like to truly experience pain, loneliness and rejection to its fullest. He felt my pain, disappointments and doubts.

          I see now that God was molding me, changing me. He was strengthening my character in order to be strong in Him and for Him. 

          James 1:2 reaffirmed this truth to me: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of any kind, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

          Reflecting on God’s faithfulness, my character has been strengthened. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

          It is not my own strength that gets me through life’s adversities but God’s. I don’t have to rely on myself. I have all I need through Christ. Because of my willingness, I had been given greater insight into God’s plan and desires for me.

          God guided me forward and provided the right people to make it happen. He protected me and gave me amazing strength and courage. He held my hand when I needed Him, and He carried me when I was too weak to move on my own. Through building a team of women and using the gifts the Lord gave them, many women are now facilitating bible studies, coordinating events, leading prayer ministries, serving on greeting teams, coordinating meals, mentoring, designing sets and publicity materials, leading women to Christ, and making disciples. I give Him all the praise!

          You may feel like I was feeling – inadequate. You may see yourself as just a plain, insignificant nobody, just as I felt and just as Moses felt. But in God’s eyes we are very special. Each one of us has been created by Him. We all have a purpose here on earth and are a part of God’s glorious story. We just have to decide what type of character we want to be. We can be part of God’s story, or we can write our own.

Faith and obedience go hand in hand. 

          What will you choose today? God made me part of His story. God has a rewarding part for you to play in His story, if you are willing and obedient.  



Michelle Stanphill-

Michelle is the Director of Ministries for Assimilation, Connection’s, and Women’s Ministry at First Baptist Church Irving since May 2006.  She has been married to her husband, Brent for 19 years. They have three beautiful daughters, one son-in-law, one granddaughter, grandson and another one on the way. Prior to her employment at First Irving, Michelle worked for a corporation as a sales liaison. As a member for 17 years, she has deep love for First Irving. She is passionate about providing opportunities for others to grow in God’s Word, and equip them to use the gifts that God has given them. Her favorite verse is 2 Corinthians 12:9 “but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”